Books That Terrify Me

Hello!

       I thought I would do a fun little post today, as I am a little behind on my reading schedule and do not have a review for the day. I want to spend this post talking about five books that I want to read, but that terrify me in some way or another.

       In all honesty, a majority of these have to do with length. One of my greatest accomplishments is reading Les Miserables in 2013. It was so worth the two weeks of total binge reading that it took me to finish it. I loved the novel, and once I was into it, I honestly didn't mind how long the book was.

       However, I have this thing while reading where if a book takes me longer than a few days to read, I start feeling rushed. I feel like I have to finish it quickly or all of the other books I want to read will disappear from my shelves. It's completely and totally irrational, I know, but it's been a bad reading habit of mine since a young age. If a book takes me too long, I either put it down to never pick it up again or spend the last couple hundred pages begrudgingly reading and then reading slower and slower, despite my actually liking the book. Around day seven of Les Miserables I had to force myself to not start scanning pages instead of reading. Not because I didn't like it or found it boring, but because it's just what I do if I feel rushed while reading.

       With all of that being said, here is my list:

5) Middlemarch by George Eliot

       This book is long. It comes in at 700 pages or so. I've heard a lot about this novel and this author, and I'm very interested in reading it. I've owned it for about two years now, but have still yet to read it. I've built it up in my head as this book that I will start and immediately know it will take too long to read and so I will put it down. One of these days I really want to get to it, because I really do think I'll like it.

4) Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray

       I have also had this book for a few years now, and have all of the same reservations about it that I have about Middlemarch. It's about the same length, and though I think I will really like it once I pick it up, the time commitment terrifies me.

3) Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

       I actually started this book earlier in the year. Goodreads says I'm "currently reading" it, but in all reality, I haven't picked it up since February. I thought maybe I would try reading it in sections, since it comes in designated parts, but after getting through the first two, I failed to pick up at the third. Now, it's been so long that I really want to just start over. You would think that reading Les Miserables would have let me move past this horrible habit, but it hasn't, and it's stopping me from reading books that I really, really, want to read.

2) Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

       I've heard so many amazing things from so many people about this series. I know what it's about, and I would really like to watch the television show based on the series, but I want to read the books first. The premise, a woman in 1940s England being sent back in time to 1740s Scotland, sounds so amazing and right up my alley. It isn't just this book, though, it's an entire series of books that are all very, very long. The time commitment scares me to death. When will I have time to read my other books? Will it take me an entire month or more if I read them while in school? If I read them during the summer, that takes up very precious reading time.... Honestly, the thought of reading this series, as fun as it sounds, gives me anxiety.

1) A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.

       I know I'm not alone on this one. There has been so much hype around these books and it's television show, that it is almost impossible not to know about this series. I've heard so much, and I really want to read the books. I have all of them. I got the box set a few years back for a fairly cheap price on Black Friday, but I still haven't even picked up the first one. For all the same reasons as I've listed above, I've stopped myself from reading this book. Part of me is also afraid that this series may have been over-hyped for me. What if I read it and don't like it as much as everyone else does? Will I forever be the odd duck out when it comes to this series? (I know, I know, I have to actually read it first to have an opinion on it.)

       These are only five of the books I want to read but am too afraid to start. I think, besides my weird reading habit/pet peeve/ whatever you want to classify it as, the reason I've had a hard time with reading longer books over the last two years has been my yearly reading challenge. In 2012 I wanted to read 100 books, and I did. I don't believe I read any really long books, however. In 2014, I challenged myself to 75 books and met that. This year I challenged myself to read 80 books, and I am struggling to keep up with it. I took a break from the reading challenge in 2013 (the year I read Les Mis), and I think not having the pressure of a reading challenge really helped me power through the novel.

       I think for 2016, (yes, I know it is months and months away) I will go ahead and skip the reading challenge. I think it will give me a bit more freedom in my reading. If I want to read two super long books in a row, I can do it without freaking out about whether I'm on schedule to finish the challenge. We'll have to see how that goes! Until then, I think I'm going to try reading Anna Karenina from the beginning next month by reading a section a month. It didn't work the first time, but maybe this will act as a way to keep me accountable over the next few months as I try to stick with it. Maybe it will give me more motivation to start the others once the new year rolls around.

       Do you have any books that you're scared to read? Have you read any of the ones on my list? Are they worth the time commitment? Let me know in the comments!

       I'll see you all Thursday with a review.

       Your Pemberley Reader,
              Acacia